May
31
2009
Should I confront the guy I’m dating? Just saw him at lunch with another girl?
“I started dating a new guy within the last month or so. We have not had the talk to make things exclusive between the two of us yet, so we are just casual dating. We actually live very close to each other there are only a few blocks between our two houses. We went on a few dates together before I had to leave the country on a preplanned vacation. I was gone for two weeks and in that time I started to feel as though he was losing his interest. I saw him on the dating site, where we met, a few other times as well as noticing his lack of showing me interest. When I came home I decided to send him a text message just explaining quickly that if he was not interested in continuing dating I was fine with that. I just wanted to be told whichever way it was that he was leaning. I told him no matter how he feels I would understand, and that I would have no hard feelings. He responded to my text by saying that he would like to talk after work. We had a very good conversation about my trip and all of the details of my vacation. At the end of the conversation he told me that for the next few days he was very busy with work so he would not be able to see me during that time.
Today, I was out and about running errands. I happened to see him outside of a restaurant and he was with another girl. I could tell that they were talking, and he was pointing in the direction of his house. I later drove by his house and both of their cars were there.
I am not quite sure on the best way to handle this. Do I say something to him about it? Do I not say anything to him, but stop seeing him? I know that we are not exclusively dating so technically he is not doing anything wrong. I am still very mad that he just didn’t tell me the other day that he is seeing other people, when I specifically asked him about his interest the other day. (more…)
May
28
2009
How to build back trust in a relationship?
“I have been with my boyfriend for four years. We do currently live together as well. We are very much in love, but we both recently admitted to the other one that we both have been unfaithful. After talking about our past discrepancies we both decided that we wanted to start over and work on our relationship. We do not want to give up the love that we once had. Is there any good ways that we can build back trust in each other, or will it just take time? Is there anything to help make it easier?”
It most definitely will take time, and a lot of compromises. One very important key is that if you have decided for both of you to leave the past in the past, you will have to do just that! Neither of you are able to bring up the others past, and you will have to find a way to leave those emotions in the past as well, or else it will never work. (more…)
May
26
2009
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal:
It is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston S Churchill
I often tell my friends the same thing every time they ask for help. The mistakes people make are not what matters. What matters is how they learn from those mistakes and how to act after the mistakes are made. I think that this quote is great because I believe that it reinforces my way of thinking. Just because a person never makes a major mistake and is successful for some part of their life does not mean that they will never fail or make a mistake. It also shows everyone that just because you do make a mistake and may fail at something the first time does not mean that there is no way to get back on top of their world.
We all make mistakes, no one is perfect. Everyone has made a mistake in their life that has fully changed their life. (more…)
May
23
2009
Boyfriend Vs. Facebook?
“I have been with my boyfriend for three years already. In the past he found a text message on my cell phone from a male friend of mine asking to meet me and some other friends for drinks. I would like to point out that I was dating my boyfriend at this time but we were not exclusively dating. Ever since that one little text message we have had some major trust issues, since this we have never felt that the one was always fully honest with the other. We are still together despite the lack of trust for each other, but my boyfriend has always been a bit overly concerned with social networking sites (i.e. MySpace, FaceBook, etc). I do not know if this has been issues in any of his past relationships I just know that it is a pretty big issue for our relationship. He has asked me to delete a particular male from my FaceBook.com page because he ‘simple does not like him’ he says that he gets a bad vibe from this one male friend of mine. We have been over this issue so many different times, there has been a lot of explaining and a lot of tears (tears mostly from me out of frustration and anger). I have explained to him that he has nothing to worry about, which I really feel that he doesn’t. Since I do love and care for my boyfriend I deleted this friend for him. Now it seems as though I have betrayed myself in a way. I never did anything wrong and never would do anything to risk ruining our relationship. So I do not understand why I need to delete my friend for him to finally believe me! I was hoping that my boyfriend would trust me without me having to delete friends off of my social networking sites, but clearly that was not the case. He said that he needed proof that nothing was going on. Now I feel as though I did something that I did NOT want to do to do it and the only reason that I did do it was to satisfy my boyfriend. (more…)
May
21
2009
How do I get him back?
“I would like to know how to get my guy back! I was dating this guy for close to two years before we broke up. We ended our relationship because we never get to see each other, but now I think that I would like to try to get him back. I have told him that I would like to be with him again. He tells me that he loves me, but that he is confused about what to do because he is still hurt. I do not think that that is a good reason for us to not get back together though. He calls me his wife and tells me that he loves me still. Yet he won’t say that he wants me back. What do I do so that I can get him back to being mine again?”
I think that this is a very real case of a guy who “wants his cake and to eat it too”. He wants to tell you everything so that he still keeps you interested in him and showing you some amount of love. (more…)
May
19
2009
How to trust my spouse again after he lied to me for so long?!
“I am working on learning how to trust my spouse again. He is my best friend and my lover. I recently found out that he has been betraying you and lying to me for a year now! He has been taking pills, and telling me that he is sober. He has been looking in my eyes and swearing that he is not taking any pills. He has even sworn upon a dead relatives grave that he loves and misses so dearly. I was on the computer one day and saw his history that he was looking up doctors for help. When I then confronted him about what I found he confessed everything to me. I was very devastated to hear about everything he had lied about. He has been seeing a doctor for the past few months and is doing great. (more…)
May
16
2009
Since today is Armed Forces Day I feel that I should take a moment out of my day to at least write a little Thank - You!
I am a very patriotic person. I am extremely thankful for every American that has the amazing ability to give their lives to the military! I think that anyone who has spent their lives fighting for or supporting this country is a very amazing and great person! I am so passionate about it that all that I can really get out is “Thank – You!” over and over again.
I also want to thank the families of men and women in the military for standing by their family and supporting them! As I told my friend when she started dating a man who is active in the Army, there is something that you need to understand, people who are active in the military live with their jobs first and their families sadly must take second. It takes a very strong person to stand by their spouse in those kinds of situations. I know that the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, and grand parents all have to go through a very hard time as well. I think that you are very strong people and are essential to the healthy mind set of our men and women in the military.
May
16
2009
“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.”
Buddha
I have never heard this quote before, but I really do like it. I really think that the best way to live your life is learning from your mistakes, as well as others mistakes and using compassion when learning those lessons. As I have said before I think that if you show compassion then you are able to help improve someone’s day. You do not have to go out of your way for them and you still may make a very big difference in their day.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I had a disagreement because he kept asking me “What if you were not able to help improve another person’s life?” (more…)
May
15
2009
I feel like the guy in the relationship. What do I do?
“My fiancé has a very stressful and physical job so he is tired a lot. I want to have sex with him much more often than he wants to; I want to have sex almost every other day. I will sometimes ask him if he wants to have sex, he always responds with I will see how I feel later. Then I get very upset when he doesn’t want to have sex and I even cry. I don’t know why I get so emotional; I am not trying to make him feel bad. I don’t know why I react that way, or what to do.”
Answer—
I think that you need to be a little bit more understanding of how hard his job really is on him and his body. (more…)
May
14
2009
I’m curious to know what you think of this?
“How do you think that you would handle this situation? What if you just found out that your younger sibling a person who was 15 years old than them? To top that off what if the person that they were now dating was married and two children? Then finding out that the person your sibling is now dating is your recent ex, and you only found out from another sibling.
This happened to a girl that I know. Her sister is not a very good person, and I know this because I have known her for quite some time. I just had obviously under estimated the level of disgust that this girl would go to. I feel really bad for the girl that I know because she is a very kind good person. I couldn’t imagine my sibling doing something like that to me. I have also heard that the sister does not even care about the guy and that she is just sleeping with him because he is the only guy that will show interest in her. She has a reputation with all of our guy friends for being easy or being used for sex.” (more…)
