Aug 06 2009
How to deal with a friends betayal?
The betrayal of friends, or so called friends should we say? In most cases true friends will never do anything that makes you feel as though you have been betrayed. However, if you overly sensitive and the self absorbed kind of friend do not assume that because you feel betrayed you have a right to retaliate.
Haven’t we all been betrayed by a friend at some point throughout our lives? Some probably have been betrayed much more than just once as well. What are all the ways that friends can betray us? Are you one of those people who think of your close friends as family? If you answered yes to that then friends can honestly be quite deadly to you! If you are betrayed by a person that you believe you’re so connected with that you look at them as family it creates a very big personal battle within yourself.
I am sure that we all have felt betrayed or left out in the cold by our family at some point. How do we get over that? We just kind force ourselves to don’t we? We have to think about how everyone says family is most important, and you always need to stand by them. What about when your friend does it? Isn’t it a bit harder to convince yourself to forgive them? Even if we may say they are like family, in reality they are not our family. Does that make it harder to forgive them? Or does it make it easier to shut them out?
I am definitely one of those people who viewed my long term friends as family; I believe that this is a fault that I may have still to this day. Whenever I am betrayed by a person I get hurt, mad, sad, cry, vent argue my side, but in reality when I feel our friendship is falling apart I will give into what I believe quickly to preserve my friendships. I still do not know if this is the best way to approach the situation.
There are different levels of betrayal, sometimes some things just simply cannot, and SHOULD not just be forgiven like nothing ever happened. When a person proves that they are just selfish, self absorbed, or evil you should not forgive their betrayal and give them an open invitation to walk all over you in the future.
If your best friend of 12 years goes to a bar one night and kisses a guy you went on one date with years before, is that really betrayal? Does this really matter? Clearly you two did not work out! Now if a friend of 12 years goes to a bar and makes out with your recent ex that you dated for years I think that is something that needs to end the friendship. A person should always be able to control their urges if they are really committed to you, no matter what kind of relationship you may have. Friends should be committed to each other, they should be much like a spouse and want to do what it takes to help you through the rough patches, help you enjoy the great times, and want to protect you from unneeded pain not be the one inflecting the pain.
What have your friends done to betray you? Have they lied to your face, have they been a completely one sided friend, have they been two faced, have they messed around with your spouse, have they sabotaged your job or other relationships, have they stolen from you, do they just make you feel less than? How you do deal with these things? Do you kick them out of your life, or do you give in forgive and forget? Do you forgive but keep them at a distance?
