Oct 12 2009
How do you know when you have found ‘The One’?
Recently I had a fellow blogger, and reader of mine who suggested that I write about how to know when you have found ‘the one’. If you read my blogs a few weeks ago you will see the questions that I was asking anyone to answer about how they knew. I will be randomly posting others stories and answers when I continue to receive them. Here are the key elements that I think tell you when you have found the one, or at least the one for right now.
I have been told many times that I have commitment issues. I do not believe that I have commitment issues, but I do think I have trust issues as well as reality. I have watched many relationships, and people grow and change over time. Sometimes the one that is right for you for a part of your life, may not be the one for you for all time. I think that nothing is wrong with that! We need people close to us and by our sides to help get us through different phases of our lives!
I think that the key to knowing if your spouse is ‘the one’, for either now or for all time, is pretty simple.
Do they make you laugh? Do they make your heart skip a beat? Do you desire to be around them? These are all key things in making sure that you can last the long run. You must be able to stand your spouse if they are the one.
Do you know how to communicate with them? Can you go to them with complex issues? Can you work together, on a puzzle, on dinner, on a problem? Anything and everything? We all know these things are important in relationships, yet it is one of the easiest things for us to over look as well. You can always go to someone else in a time of need, and we end up expecting that to be the case in most of our relationships. It is okay to have others, and to confide in others, yet you still need to be able to go to your spouse with the really big issues.
Can you trust them with your life? Okay, okay not everyone has full trust for anyone; we all have our safety nets that we subconsciously have to keep us feeling slightly safer. However, do you trust them more than you trust anyone else in your life?
Do you think of your spouse, and their family as your family? To spend your life with another human, you must respect them, love them, and accept them with the unconditional love that you have for your family. You must also do the same to anyone that they love; family and friends. We don’t have to lie and pretend to be everyone’s best friend or biggest fan. We do all need to remember that relationships are all about compromise, honesty, common decency or respect.
To know if the person you are with is the one, you have to know who you are and what you want. You also must know how to not be selfish. You will have your separate lives, and identities yet you are now one. You are a team and you must know how to be a team player, or at least be willing to learn how to become one.
I would like to take a moment to say thank you to Denise. She is the reader who suggested this topic for me! I also enjoy reading her womens blog! You can find her at Potter Den- Confessions of a Quarter Life Crisis (http://potter-den.today.com).
