Oct 14 2009
Day 3: Moving forward after a break up with grace and dignity!
Do you know how to move forward after a break up with grace and dignity? 
Recently I was out of town and in a town with limited cable channels. I was stuck watching once again MTV’s True Life. It happened to be about people’s who marriages were on the rocks, forgive me but I cannot remember the exact title of the show. Anyhow, one of the females on the shows completely shocked me. I have heard, and saw some insane things done by scorned ex-girlfriends who feel so betrayed by their ex’s but this lady took the cake!
They were having typical relationship issues, both want to take it all and no one wants to compromise any longer. The husband was not living at home at the beginning of the show, then during the show he decided to move back home to give everything one last try. They had a big blow out fight and he decided to move out again. He decided to take the big screen TV out of the family room, and this set the wife off. She poured water into the TV that was outside in the truck. Then while repeating “you try to be nice” over and over again she goes and gets a bottle of bleach and pours it all over her husband’s clothes. She then proceeds to throw things and him while taunting him to throw something back. The next time you see her she is saying how she is not sorry for what she has done, and that she doesn’t understand why her husband is so mad over what was done. Now I really hope that all of you know, this is not a mature way to deal with a break up!
Do you know how to deal with a break up while keeping your cool and being mature? I know at some point we all lose our cool a little bit, but I think my craziest moment would probably be a few too many calls to an ex in high school. Definitely nothing near a crime on the misdemeanor level! It takes time to get over a spouse, and when you are not sure it is what you want you have plenty of insane thoughts go through your head. Whatever may cross your mind, it is your actions that really count in the end.
If you can always remember to take a minute to stop and think things through before acting, then typically you would make it through a break up just fine. Another safety measure to try is appointing a girl friend to be your buffer. Whenever you want to text or call the ex, go through her first. If she still hasn’t convinced you it isn’t a great idea then go for it, but brace yourself for all the problems that will follow afterward. The fights, the rekindled painful emotions, and of course all of the tears! That is when you then go back to that trusty friend and she will help you pick up the pieces all over again.
When going through a breakup the things that you need to remember is, maturity, respect, honesty, self worth, and reality. Maturity to just move forward, you don’t want to rebuild your life on the mess you created by tearing them down. Respect for yourself, and your ex. If you weren’t the one to end the relationship you still need to respect that they had every right to make that choice! If you are mature enough to be in a relationship, then you need to be mature enough to know it doesn’t always work. You must have honesty, because you need to accept the fact that it is not right. You need to be truthful with yourself and others about why it didn’t work so that you learn the lesson and move on. Self worth to know that you are worth a loving caring partner, and it is never okay for anyone to let you think anything else. And finally reality because we all tend to drift off to some fantasy land sometimes. We see things in a much easier way to deal with then what reality truly is. To get past your past you have to leave it behind as it was, and focus on your future. You cannot leave your past behind you in this memory of some fantasy world, or else nothing will ever compare. In that case you are just dooming yourself, and can end up ruining something where the reality truly is a lot like a fantasy land.
