Tina’s Supplied Honesty

I was watching something a few weeks ago and when someone said that they wanted to confess an indiscretion a friend told them that confessing is just as guilty as what they lied about in the first place. I can recall seeing these situations addressed on the hit show, “Friday Night Lights” and the movie, “A Good Woman”.

Lies are selfish, and your confession may just be even more selfish! If you have done something that was bad enough you felt a lie was necessary, then isn’t your confession only to clear your own conscious. I am sorry I cannot remember the exact quote, but in “A Good Woman” when a gal wanted to confess that she planned to have an affair another woman told her that a confession is just forcing someone else to deal with your bad decision. I would have to agree, especially in the situation from the movie. In the movie she did plan to have an affair, but only because she was led to believe her husband was having a long term affair with another woman. While waiting for the man who fancied her to come home she was talked to her senses and went home to wait for her husband. She may have considered an affair, but in reality she never did break her husband’s trust. She did not lie about where she was, or who she was with (okay, maybe she omitted it). She just had a moment where she thought that she wanted to feel loved by someone, but realized her husband was actually faithful and went home to him. In this situation of course we would say we would like to know the truth, but in reality doesn’t it just put that extra bit of doubt into our minds that is really unnecessary?

Of course some confessions are always needed to your loved ones, but you really need to think about what kind of consequences you are forcing another to deal with because you were dishonest or a bad person. It is not fair to force others to deal with your mistakes just simply because you have a guilty conscious suddenly. Hopefully, that will also deter you from making mistakes like that in the future!

Personally I agree with both sides of this debate. I believe that it all depends upon the lie, and the reason for the lie.

I know that when I have always talked to my spouses (current and past) I have always said that if they have made a mistake I would just like to know so that I do not look like a fool in the end. However, when I have found out about indiscretions I have said, to myself many times, that I wish I just could go back to the way it was before I knew. I think that this really counts for the smaller white lies. Of course we would love to think that our loved ones never hide anything from us, yet I truly believe that sometimes never being forced to deal with a situation can be the best for you sometimes.

Say your spouse had a moment of horrible judgment and did something foolish, yet realized their mistakes and took the proper steps to correct it. Would you want to know about their lapse of judgment? Of course your initial reaction is, ‘yes, I do not want any secrets in my relationship’. However, what would knowing really give you? It now gives you a reason to doubt their judgment, which causes worry, which causes fear, which causes fights. To me that just doesn’t sound like something that is necessary. Of course we would rather never even have to deal with this situation in the first place, but we are all human therefore we all have moments where our judgment is not great.

I know with my current relationship I have one of these situations and the lie was so stupid and so petty, yet he tried to cover it so well that sometimes I really worry that it could cause so many doubts that it can ruin or previously prefect relationship.

Warning to all of you fellas out there; if you lie about something absolutely stupid and ridiculous claiming “I just didn’t want it to hurt you honey”, then the girl somehow finds out, you have just doomed the next 6 months (at least) of your relationship! You will constantly be questioned, and she will always randomly think ‘how do I know if this is a lie?’ As shocking as it may seem, big lies are easier to forgive than small ones. Most girls would all agree, a big lie is understandable (maybe not forgivable in a relationship, but understandable nonetheless) while a small lie just makes people think, ‘if they’ll lie about this, won’t they lie about anything?’

What are your experiences with white lies? When do you think they are necessary or when do you think they just begin to fuel a deadly fire?!

I have saw many different shows over the last few years touch on the subject of Bipolar disorder in teenagers. While I think that it is great that they do touch on this subject, and attempt to educate people on this very serious, and common issue for many teenagers and adults throughout the world. I think that it is also important to point out that the shows do not exactly portray a perfect image of what the illness can look like. In the shows and movies they often have the extreme or very dramatic portions of the disorder. I am not saying that they are not accurate, but they are not how everyone with the illness acts.

In many of the TV shows they show the teenagers going from extremely happy to extremely sad within a very short time. It is very true that anything can trigger a change within a bipolar person, but it is not that they cannot handle any normal situations. I think it goes without saying that we all know people with bipolar disorder, and we know that each person is different and reacts differently to their illness. I think that it is important to understand when you are dealing with a person who is bipolar. It is hard for some people to understand that someone they know may truly have this disorder. That one friend that seems to fly off the handle sometimes may have bipolar disorder, or the other friend who seems to take extreme offense to small situations may be manic depressive or bipolar. From personal experience it is very hard to deal with those around you who have the disorder. You may not know what will set them off, or how they will react to the label of being mentally ill. It is very important to understand that these people do not live with the common sense mind frame that we expect of everyone.

As many of you probably know there are two parts of Bipolar disorder; Mania and Depression. To find more information about warning signs, and the types of bipolar disorder view this very informative article from health.com!

If you have stories to share about your experiences with bipolar disorder I would be glad to share them in helps to educate others, just email them to me teenskee@gmail.com. If you have questions or concerns you can email them to me as well so that we can work together to find you help and answers!

While watching the last episode of “Glee” it suddenly hits me how much this show revolves around dishonesty. Of course it is obvious in the plot line, but when you first see some of the lies the show revolves around it is hard to see them as realistic lies that we may encounter. Then this episode comes along and touches on exposing even more lies then finishes the show off with the group singing “True Colors”.

When I was in choir in high school my teacher just happened for this to be a the song that all choirs sang together on for our senior concert. Of course this senior concert was while my boyfriend and I were breaking up. The break up was pretty simple and straight forward. He was older and we went to different schools, his best friend was in my choir though and we were very close. It happened that he was watching me while we were singing that song and it really touched me. They were all getting ready to leave the school, and I was just starting my journey there really. Since that day, whenever I see someone for what they really are this song pops back into my head.

It does not always have to mean that someone truly is a great person inside, but sometimes you see their true colors and realize they are not that great inside after all. This episode really got me thinking about past relationships and present ones. Sometimes true colors shining through are deal makers and sometimes they are deal breakers! What are your absolute true color moments from your life? Were the deal makers, deal breakers, or just reassuring that you were making the right choices?

So I was milling around a site after accidentally running across it. It was a site like Yahoo! Answers, and they actually had a category labeled “sex in teenage relationships”. I was completely shocked! Then on top of that of course my curiosity had to get the best of me, and I had to read some of the questions that were on the site. I was so shocked and disgusted! One of the teenagers misspelled infection, and blockage! Gosh, I was just totally shocked!!! Many other teenagers were asking common sense questions that would be answered in a very simple health class! One said that middle school students were having sex and that it was known some of them had STD’s!

UGH! I know that I am old fashioned, but no matter what this should never be okay or acceptable!
I just had to vent a bit about this! I know that it happens everywhere but do these answer sites really need to give them encouragement by their own category to ask for technique advice?! Gross!

How much of a diva are you? I am sure if you are a past reader of mine you have noticed that lately I have not been around much lately. I have not had a whole of time to work on any of my writing due to family issues, and being quite ill. In the last two weeks I have been doing some severe catch up reading, and researching. I have noticed that my most common emotion lately is irritation. I pride myself in being able to take myself out of a situation and see both sides. I usually can blow things off pretty easily by seeing that not everyone acts and thinks like me. Lately I seem to be getting much more fed up, or I have been getting way to many experiences. I really hope that lately it is just that I am experiencing so much more unneeded melodrama, and not that I am losing my kind touch or reality check appeal.

I seem to be noticing myself saying “Really?! Are you kidding me?! Is this for real?!” a lot more often than I would like. I understand that others cannot handle all situations like I do personally, and I know that wishing more did is one of my biggest faults! I sometimes just don’t get why things are not so common sense to everyone, and that is wrong of me. However, lately it seems like everyone has been on this thought process of “you must worship me, I rule all!”

I read the help forums and it is just constant complaining and bitching about everything! Why is it so hard to understand that you do not rule the world? Companies do not change their policies and practices just because you are a bit hurt over them choosing to do things differently. In most cases it is those same people who have been taking the easy way out, and now it is time that they must really start working to get what they think they deserve. I do not want to point out any one person, or specific situation at this moment rather just get all of you out there thinking. I know that it is pretty common sense to say I should not expect everything to be handed to me. Yet still it seems like people are only saying that when they know they are being watched by others. (more…)

So I know that this is a few days late, Things have been extremely hectic lately. But I did not want to risk never saying anything to honor the memory of everyone who lost their lives on September 11. Every year these people should be remembered by the entire country, and be honored. Not only the innocent civilians that died, but the many heroes who risked, or lost their lives trying to get everyone to safety.

Every year there are many days and moments that pass when I feel like I have just got hit with this reality check and realized, maybe I am not being the best me that I can be. Maybe I can be kinder, maybe I can be more open minded, maybe I can tell the ones I love that I appreciate them more often, maybe I can ask less and do more. At the end of those days, those are the days that I realize; yes I can do more, should do more, and will do more! However, I also realize at the end of those days that the fact that I ask myself these things proves that I care about more than just myself and that I do make a point to let others know that. (more…)

Touch of the hand. What does it mean to you?

So we all have saw that moment on TV or in movies when two people are kind of feeling each other then they have that moment where their hands touch, time freezes and they star longingly into the others eyes. In real life nothing ever last’s that long, but that still is a moment that seems to change relationships between people. When you are really into a girl and she purposely touches your hand don’t you look at her with the most approving smile full of your gittiness? When you are handing a guy you like something and he makes a point for his hand to touch yours doesn’t your heart skip a beat, then you look at him for that is this real reassurance?

I was watching TV the other day and realized how many times this is how simple of an action it takes to take two people to the next level. That simple quite moment where nothing is actually said, but the eye contact speaks volumes! It is like for those two people time really does stop for a few moments. (more…)

Music therapy… does it really exist? Do you believe in it? When you are really angry, frustrated, sad or excited do you turn to certain music to intensify or fix those moods? Do you have designated playlist on your MP3 player you rely on for those certain days?!

Have you ever gone through a traumatic experience in your life and thought that music was a very large part in getting you through the situation? Have you ever felt that you felt emotions so deeply and no one around you could understand what you were going through? What did you turn to then; did you then turn to music? Have you ever been riding in your car during rush hour on your way home with so much stress and anxiety, then that new song comes on the radio and it picks up your spirits? Did you just get into a fight with your boyfriend and that song comes on that you swear is wrote exactly about this very situation that you went through?! When you have just got into a fight with your best friend and she says that one thing that can cut you so deep, do you ever want to just blast your radio and sign your heart out until you feel all the stress is gone? When you are really stressed out can music help you to relax? (more…)