I want to break up with my fiancé, how should I do it?

“I am engaged to a very emotional man. Anytime I ever mention the two of us breaking up he always starts to cry. He is not exactly a pansy kind of guy because he doesn’t get all mushy gushy when I try to find out why he is crying, actually he becomes very defensive and angry when I ask him why he is crying. For the last year we have been living with my parents, but I think that we are just too young to be together for the rest of our lives. He is 18 years old and I am 17, I am not sure anymore that I am ready to commit my life to this guy. What do I do so that I can actually break up with him? Whenever he gets emotional it makes me feel so badly that I just back down from it.”

I think that you should just go with the so called “band-aid method”. Just make it a clean break. Tell him why you are not happy in the relationship and why you think that you two would both be better separate. It will be very hard since you live with your parents so you cannot just leave and allow him time, you will have to just do it as forward and quick as possible and help him to pack up and move out. Maybe you should even talk to your parents first to see if they will help him to move out, so that you can tell him well we are just going to help you move out now so that we can make a clean break and neither of us has to have a messy and mean break up. Good luck, and remember if you feel bad when he cries you really are only making it worse because you are leading him to believe that you are happy and want to be with him, when in reality you are not.

“My girlfriend now says that I have betrayed her and that she does not know how she feels about us having a future. I would prefer not to say how I betrayed her, but it is true I too believe that I have done something that betrays her love for me. What do you think I can do to make up for it? I want to know what she is thinking… What do you think of a guy who betrays a girl he is in an intimate relationship with?

I believe that any many who betrays a woman he is committed to is a very weak man. If he cannot be honest with someone that he claims to care so deeply about then clearly he only thinks of himself. If you care for someone enough to be your spouse then you need to respect them a lot more than to be deceitful to them. You say that you are in an intimate relationship with her. What do you think being in an intimate relationship really means? Do you think you are intimate with her because you are sexually active? Or do you think that you are intimate with her because you have a special, unique emotional bond with her?

I am hoping that you think it is intimate because of the second, because to most girls they have no desire to be sexual with a man that they do not feel an emotional connection with. Therefore, when you do something to betray her it is such an intense blow to the heart that some people will never get over it!

Yes, everyone does make mistakes and you may’ve done something very minor that was a truly honest mistake. However, with you refusing to state what you have done, it forces me to believe that you did something to the extreme like cheating, which is the ultimate betrayal! Always think before you act, or speak especially if you are in a committed relationship. When you commit your life to another person you give up all rights to act selfish and without thinking of their feelings before making serious decisions. Commitment to another human is all about compromise and improving each others lives. I hope you learned a lesson from this! The ultimate test of your personality is how you will respond to mistakes you have made.

Should I confront the guy I’m dating? Just saw him at lunch with another girl?

“I started dating a new guy within the last month or so. We have not had the talk to make things exclusive between the two of us yet, so we are just casual dating. We actually live very close to each other there are only a few blocks between our two houses. We went on a few dates together before I had to leave the country on a preplanned vacation. I was gone for two weeks and in that time I started to feel as though he was losing his interest. I saw him on the dating site, where we met, a few other times as well as noticing his lack of showing me interest. When I came home I decided to send him a text message just explaining quickly that if he was not interested in continuing dating I was fine with that. I just wanted to be told whichever way it was that he was leaning. I told him no matter how he feels I would understand, and that I would have no hard feelings. He responded to my text by saying that he would like to talk after work. We had a very good conversation about my trip and all of the details of my vacation. At the end of the conversation he told me that for the next few days he was very busy with work so he would not be able to see me during that time.

Today, I was out and about running errands. I happened to see him outside of a restaurant and he was with another girl. I could tell that they were talking, and he was pointing in the direction of his house. I later drove by his house and both of their cars were there.

I am not quite sure on the best way to handle this. Do I say something to him about it? Do I not say anything to him, but stop seeing him? I know that we are not exclusively dating so technically he is not doing anything wrong. I am still very mad that he just didn’t tell me the other day that he is seeing other people, when I specifically asked him about his interest the other day. (more…)

Boyfriend Vs. Facebook?
“I have been with my boyfriend for three years already. In the past he found a text message on my cell phone from a male friend of mine asking to meet me and some other friends for drinks. I would like to point out that I was dating my boyfriend at this time but we were not exclusively dating. Ever since that one little text message we have had some major trust issues, since this we have never felt that the one was always fully honest with the other. We are still together despite the lack of trust for each other, but my boyfriend has always been a bit overly concerned with social networking sites (i.e. MySpace, FaceBook, etc). I do not know if this has been issues in any of his past relationships I just know that it is a pretty big issue for our relationship. He has asked me to delete a particular male from my FaceBook.com page because he ‘simple does not like him’ he says that he gets a bad vibe from this one male friend of mine. We have been over this issue so many different times, there has been a lot of explaining and a lot of tears (tears mostly from me out of frustration and anger). I have explained to him that he has nothing to worry about, which I really feel that he doesn’t. Since I do love and care for my boyfriend I deleted this friend for him. Now it seems as though I have betrayed myself in a way. I never did anything wrong and never would do anything to risk ruining our relationship. So I do not understand why I need to delete my friend for him to finally believe me! I was hoping that my boyfriend would trust me without me having to delete friends off of my social networking sites, but clearly that was not the case. He said that he needed proof that nothing was going on. Now I feel as though I did something that I did NOT want to do to do it and the only reason that I did do it was to satisfy my boyfriend. (more…)

I feel like the guy in the relationship. What do I do?

“My fiancé has a very stressful and physical job so he is tired a lot. I want to have sex with him much more often than he wants to; I want to have sex almost every other day. I will sometimes ask him if he wants to have sex, he always responds with I will see how I feel later. Then I get very upset when he doesn’t want to have sex and I even cry. I don’t know why I get so emotional; I am not trying to make him feel bad. I don’t know why I react that way, or what to do.”

Answer—

I think that you need to be a little bit more understanding of how hard his job really is on him and his body. (more…)